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CORPSEHAMMER
“PERVERSION”
E.P. Review by Dark Juan
7/10
Corpsehammer are: engagingly naive
Gaddur – drums
Nekromonger – guitars. All I can think of is Greg Wallace from Masterchef UK. You know, the one in glasses who doesn’t present the show so much as just shout at the camera. He’s a costermonger.
Midnight Horror – vocals. Oh, the joy. The sheer joy! He nearly, NEARLY tops Nightmare Industries from Deathstars for silliest stage name in metal. Bet his real name is Dave. It’s always Dave.
Right then, fresh from probably making some lifelong enemies in Cemetery Lust, let us forge ahead in true blithe British spirit and see whether I will be making some enemies in Chile, or whether it will be a safe haven when the death squads are sent for me, for this is where Corpsehammer are from. First off, love the name. If I were forming a blackened death metal band that’s what I would have called it. I have the pleasure of reviewing Perversion, a four track E.P. which is their latest release. It appears to also be a Spanish language release, which means there will be no witticisms about the lyrics because I can’t understand a single word of Spanish apart from sexo and cervesa, por favor. What do you mean I can’t have both? I said please, didn’t I? Anyway, calling this a four track E.P. is a bit of a misnomer because the fourth track is an outro track composed mainly of droning, so this three track and one bit of filler E.P. will be considered as such. Points lost for failing to impress and not using the full potential of the E.P. format. At least there are no darkwave remixes on it unlike that Schwarzer Engel E.P. I reviewed yonks ago.
Track one is entitled Reino Del Sangre. It does not take a genius to work out this means Kingdom Of Blood in English. Didn’t even use Google Translate. Stop that sniggering in the back. I didn’t! You shocking tart… Immediate impressions are positive, although I wish I could understand the words. I hear Hellhammer, early Darkthrone and Gallhammer (minus the cute corpse painted Japanese girls!) and these are worthy influences to have. They pervade the whole record and pretty much tell you exactly what the sound is like. It is thick, muddy, lo-fi and completely wrong, but this somehow adds the je ne sais quoi that makes an average record into a good one. It is a raw and violent recording. The second song is called Rito Magia. I’m not going to insult your intelligence by explaining that in English. If you can’t work it out, then you are as dumb as the hole in a cow’s arse. Equally, if you can’t work it out and then forbear to use Google Translate (which I didn’t! Oh, fuck off….) then I’m not doing your thinking for you. Again this is lo-fi, high quality blackened metal. It stops short of being full blown black metal but it’s far too speedy and violent and high pitched to be death metal. I think the whole record has a kind of charming naïveté to it, and that is a part of its appeal. The band sound hungry, and also sound like they are enjoying themselves. For some reason, not even the fact that the band appear to have recorded their music with microphones wrapped in bath towels and gaffa tape can detract from my enjoyment of this utterly unoriginal but somehow compelling record. The final actual song on the record is called Sexo & Muerte. I’m saying nothing. My eyes just rolled back into my head. I’m actually phenomenally glad I don’t understand Spanish at this point. I assume it’s a paean to necrophilia, which is a bit of a disturbing subject that receives a fair amount of interest in rock and metal – remember I Love The Dead by Alice Cooper? Dirty bastards… Anyway, this track rattles along like an out of control Indian goods train, with spectacular speedy passages and a very engaging thrash undertone, reminiscent of Sodom and Kreator and the European thrash bands of the 80s. The outro is just that, a droning piece of utterly pointless nonsense that would have served the band better by actually being a fourth song with which to stop me bitching. Outros have no place on an E.P., in the same way remixes don’t. They are just cynical ways of reducing the workload to extract your money from you. Which leads me to conclusions – Corpsehammer are a worthy addition to the world of blackened metal and I am actually going to keep an eye on them because I enjoyed this record a lot. Nuff said…
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System awards Corpsehammer 7/10. They lost marks because of extraneous outros when actual songs were more suitable for the format of the release. They also lost a mark because one of the band is wearing eye makeup and has a moustache and it’s twisting my melon, man. Moustache – the only man in black metal who can get away with a moustache is Galder from Dimmu Borgir.
TRACKLIST
Reino Del Sangre
Rito Magia
Sexo & Muerte
Outro
https://www.facebook.com/corpsehammer/
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