PIG
“RISEN”
Album Review by Dark Juan

10/10

PIG is the legend that is Raymond Watts.

I’m on my third review of the evening, I am absolutely off my tits drunk and I HAVE BEEN HANGING ON TO THIS RECORD FOR EXACTLY THIS MOMENT! This is precisely the state I need to be in to have the best appreciation for this album by PIG. PIG is the solo project of the absolute industrial legend and founder member of KMFDM (is it Kein Mehrheit Fur Die Mitleid or Kill Mother Fucking Depeche Mode? Watts won’t tell us, the annoying bastard) that is The Lord Of Lard, The Mighty Swine, The God Of Gammon, Raymond Watts. My enthusiasm will not be denied or reduced. Raymond Watts is a fucking god of mine and nothing you can do or say will change my opinion of this.

The natural and trademark sarcasm that is a Watts trademark is in much evidence on this album, which is a very eclectic melange of genres, ranging from slamming heavy metal guitars to disco beats, from poppy keyboards to raging industrial mayhem, all fused together like some unholy beast constructed of unsuited limbs, more teeth than the entire Osmond family, (thanks for that line, Red Dwarf, I love you) steel-tipped claws on the end of double jointed arms and a REALLY bad temper. And let’s be honest, this is how you want your music to be visualised. This album is a living killing machine, impeccably dressed, with only one purpose – to kill you in horrible, nasty ways and to feast on your bloody, ruined carcass whilst looking fucking fabulous. I’m moshing like a teenager and dancing around the front room. Thank god for wireless headphones. Mrs. Dark Juan is getting cross with me and telling me to sit down and stop being a prat. Jesus, I love PIG so much it makes my balls tingle. Too much information? Like I give a fuck…

This music is sublime. The Lord Of Lard is a consummate singer and lyricist, and there’s always a sly nod to pop culture, the sample he’s using or towards KMFDM in the music and vocal line. There’s electronic mastery, metal, goth, balladry and sarcasm in abundance, a combination of punishment and pleasure – this is what gothic industrial should sound like. The music sounds like it has been welded together with furnaces and massy hammers and processed through massive machines with huge rollers and turned into a shining, polished weapon, inlaid with the most subtle and beautiful filigrees and ornate designs, designed to remove body parts, but with style. Raymond Watts’ vocal ranges from Eldritch-esque baritone crooning to full on aural assault, either caressing your ears or boxing them and the music is a sinuous, sexy yet deadly succubus, getting naked, seducing you and tying you to the bed before getting out the bonesaw and hacking off your limbs in a welter of blood, gore and bone. This is an album from a man who is at the extraordinary peak of his powers – The Lord Of Lard struts and preens and dances and just KNOWS he’s your sexual fantasy come true. He swims in a self made sea of confidence and swagger and he owns your arse right now and although your husband or wife’s waiting at home, he’s taking you and having you right after he’s finished beguiling the masses at this show.

Anyway, it’s now Sunday and I’m listening to the record again after a rather pleasant vegetarian Sunday lunch and a cheeky gin or two and I’m still fucking loving this record. There is not a bad song on here and even KMFDM had the odd howler on their records. I’m not sure whether that is because Watts has better quality control, or just because I want to have his babies so much right now and my view is totally clouded with his total and complete awesomeness.

Best songs on here for me are Morphine Machine and Leather Pig. Both destined to be future industrial classics, although the whole record is absolutely jaw dropping for me. You might not think so. PIG range far and wide for influences and samples and some people might find the poppy sensibilities of other songs jarring. For example, Loud, Lawless And Lost has a quite incredibly groovy funk guitar loop, overlaid with syrupy baritone in the style of The Gothfather, the incomparable Andrew Eldritch, the chorus being rock guitar and Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark keyboards, before The Revelation comes on and slams you over the head with a guitar riff Slayer would be proud of over the kind of flat four beat Ministry were so fond of pulverising you with on their mid paced stuff. The Vice Girls is started by an unsurprisingly sleazy riff which underpins the whole song and a vocal performance of supreme lasciviousness from The Mighty Swine. The whole record has a kind of joyously mischievous vibe, Raymond Watts being the enfant terrible of industrial and dragging it kicking and screaming into brightly lit, technicolour places with influences that industrial music has never been and should never have been exposed to, and traumatising it into becoming something new and different and exciting. Industrial just went quantum.

The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System hasn’t been this excited about a record since Esoctrilihum and P.H.O.B.O.S. It’s yet another 10/10 and I am disgusted with myself. Call myself a critic? If I am a critic, I can’t go around awarding full fucking marks all the time can I?

TRACKLIST

The Chosen Few
Morphine Machine
Loud, Lawless And Lost
The Revelation (Misinterpretation Mix)
Truth Is Sin
The Vice Girls
Rise And Repent (Descent Mix)
Leather Pig
When I’m Done (Delivered Mix)
The Cult Of Chaos
The Hangman’s Wooing
Prey And Obey (Disobey Mix)
Hard Machine (Lard Machine Mix)
Ecstasy And Exorcism (Excoriation Variation Mix)

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